In writing, like in dungeons and dragons, there are sorcerers and there are wizards. Wizards ply their trade through advanced study and a high-level understanding of the rules and structure of magic. Sorcerers draw on guesswork, innate ability, practice and charisma. There’s no point asking a sorcerer why he just changed tense, he doesn’t know.
This is my Sorcerers and Wizards Theory of Creative Writing (originally posted on my old blog, which I’d link to except it now redirects here and linking to my old blog from my new blog could literally cause the universe to end by creating an infinite regress).
Wizards and Sorcerers have different views on the best way to write
Sorcerers and Wizards are often at one another’s throats.
Sorcerer’s tend to think that Wizards are anal retentive hacks who write-by-rule and lack any creative panache.
Wizards tend to think that Sorcerers are lazy, unprofessional and sloppy.
Wizards point out that their writing tends to be of a consistent quality, that the sorcerer is undisciplined, prone to bouts of powerful prose followed by reams of unreadable drivel.
Sorcerers point out that Wizards may be consistent but they tend to be consistently average.
Don't tell me what to do I'm BEING CREATIVE!
Wizards say that Sorcerers lack basic knowledge of spelling and punctuation.
Sorcerers think that spelling and punctuation is an ideology comparable to National Socialism.
Wizards say Sorcerers don’t plan.
Sorcerers say Wizards don’t write.
Both think that the other aren’t real writers.
And on it goes.
It’s more than just idle speculation and a geeky D&D reference. It cuts right to the core of the whole idea of the Creative Writing MA/MFAs
If there’s one thing Wizards and Sorcerers like to disagree on more than anything else, it’s whether or not writing can be taught.
Being able to study writing is pretty much the Wizard version of really expensive drugs.
Really expensive drugs are the sorcerer version of really expensive drugs… to them a Creative Writing MA is anathema to all they represent.
The existence of the MAs has caused a lot of writers (mostly of the sorcerer variety) to come out and say some pretty pretentious things… Usually without any real knowledge of what goes on during a writing class. Which is fine, knowledge is for Wizards.
But I do think the question needs a bit more scrutiny.
"STOP USING COMMAS INCORRECTLY
I’ve always considered myself more Sorcerer than Wizard but here I am on one of the MAs… Like it or not, I can be a bit Wizardy and truth be told, I think the two can be reconciled.
But not only that, I think they can be reconciled in Part II of this post.
Which will follow at a less obscene hour of the morning.
